Lightning

So I was going to do something meaningful and spectacular for L.  Like love, or Longing, .  Something along those lines, but then Oklahoma has been hit with a barrage of thunderstorms, and unfortunately killer tornadoes. So instead I have decided to write about Lightning, and Mother Nature's fury.

Mother Nature's power has always been amazing to me.  In one moment she can wipe out an entire community by wielding her massive Titans on the world.   Tornadoes, Floods, Tsunamis, Earthquakes, even the common bolt of Lightning can kill someone within an instant.

Growing up in Nevada I never really worried about Mother Nature's power over me.   Earthquakes would happen occasionally but I was never afraid if the ground shook beneath me.   Then I got married and moved to Oklahoma . . .  within a few weeks of living here I was terrified of her power.  The storms in Oklahoma are ten times more powerful then the ones I saw in Nevada.  Thunder shakes your house, the rain comes down like a wall of water, and the lighting not only streaks the sky but strikes the ground and springs back up. Luckily I haven't seen a tornado. . . yet . . . and hopefully I never will.   But I did live through a freak inland hurricane that brought down the trees and flooded my front yard. (Only in Oklahoma)

For what it's worth, you have to stand in awe when Mother Nature unleashes her weathered titans.  I love staring up at the sky as lightning brightens the clouds and the thunder echoes off the lush, green, farmland.  Tornadoes are massive spinning vortex's of dirt and debris capable of dismembering every brick on  my home, but I would still like to see one from afar... not close enough to cause anyone harm but far off in a field or on a television set.  

It's devastating to think of the destruction Mother Nature can cause, but it is also humbling.  We are but mere pawns surrounded by her loving arms.   Occasionally she will pick up some pieces and throw them around her Earthly chessboard.  Letting us all know we are at her mercy. As long as we take care of her and all her creations . . .  she will take care of us. So don't take her for Granted I SURE DON'T!


WHAT'S FOR DINNER:  Inside Out Cheeseburgers (yes as good as they sound!)


KID QUOTE OF THE DAY:

My Son:  (Crying because he can't find the Remote)  I cant find the Mote
Me:  It's up your booty
My Son: (Looks at his butt and shakes his head)  No it's not, it no fit up there.


SONG OF THE DAY:

Power - Snap

Kryptonite 4 days late!!!! SORRY!!!!!

So everyone in this world has some form of Kryptonite.   That one thing that holds them back from being the best they can be.  Even Superman had his Kryptonite that crippled him into a shaking mess of useless hero.  So how does one overcome Kryptonite?  Do you shatter it into a million pieces?  Do you ignore it and hope that you can get through your day?   Or do you face it head on and overcome it?  I pick the latter.

My Kryptonite is Procrastination.  As you can see from the K blog being a whole 4 days late. . . .  not that I had a choice in the matter, I have one of my best friends, Kate, visiting from Nevada and we've been so busy catching up that being able to work on the A-Z challenge was not probable.   Hopefully I can make up for it.

Procrastination is always crippling me.  There is always something to do instead... more time later to do it.. . and before I know it--BAM!  The time has gone and the deadline passed.  Sometimes I work extra hard to get things done early.  Housework, Homework (when I was in school), trying to overcome my procrastination Kryptonite.   On those days it couldn't decimate me, in fact I overcame procrastination so early on that it didn't even have a chance to taunt me either.   But I find as the kids grow older, as I get older,  the ability to overcome procrastination seems harder than usual.   My only option... stay on top of it, and unlike Superman I wont cower to the floor overcome by my Kryptonite's awesome power over me. It will crumble and fade away.


WHAT'S FOR DINNER:  I think it was Steak, Baked Potato, Corn on the cob (to celebrate my friends arrival)

KID QUOTE OF THE DAY:  (My kids having a conversation in the back about Long Horn Bulls)

My son:  It's a Unicorn
My Daughter: Unicorns have one horn not two
My son:  It's a Notacorn then.
My Daughter:  Yup its a Notacorn


SONG OF THE DAY:

Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down

Jugular

Going for the Jugular . . . 

Defined at Dictionary.com as : to attack a vital and vulnerable trait, feature, element, etc., in an attempt to overcome somebody or something swiftly and totally. 

So where does this come into play with my writing?  Well I believe that you can't pussy foot around certain topics or subjects just because they are taboo, or because not everyone will respect it.   Take for example writing about homosexuality.  Why is it so hard for people to take?  I think every character has a story, and if one of my characters has a problem adapting to life because they are struggling to find themselves as they explore their sexuality then so be it.   It's amazing to me that editors are so scared of posting the truth.   The world is full of people, these people are all different!  Different lifestyles, different beliefs, different values. Not everyone is going to be straight, not everyone is going to be gay but why can't you write about both without feeling vulnerable and dirty?

The same goes for sex scenes in books.   OMG not sex in a YA book, it will tell kids that it is okay to have sex!  Um... no.   Not every book with a sex scene is trying to paint the picture of a perfect romance.  Sex, whether we like it or not, is growing in our society.   Kids are experimenting at younger ages, whether it's by choice or because they have some messed up reason as to why they feel the need to participate in adult situations. At any rate, educate the children on the consequences!  Throw in their faces the reality of becoming a parent at 16 or 17 years old!  Talk about abortion, give them the chance to consider the difference between pro life and pro choice. Inflict a character with a nasty disease only contracted by participating in unprotected sex.  I mean, why not? Seriously if we whisper in privacy about such important topics then kids will never see the importance of abstinence or being protected if they do decide to have sex.   It doesn't mean  you have to be vulgar, it doesn't mean you have to go into every nitty gritty detail until your reader is embarrassed by picturing such things.  Just write what you feel, and hopefully your readers will accept you and your ideas!

 

So here is my suggestion . . .

I SAY GO FOR THE JUGULAR!!!!

Shock your readers with your characters, throw that homosexual character in their face and give them a chance them to accept him/her.   Just like life you are going to have people who will not accept your opinion, they may even put down the book after they find out your character is not what they expected.  But who cares?  Love your characters, give your readers something to ponder and think about!  Hopefully after they are done they will come away from your book with a better understanding of that touchy subject, and maybe just maybe, you will make a difference in that one life that was teeter tottering on the edge of that roof, debating on whether to jump.   Isn't that what every author strives for?  To affect your readers in a positive way? 

No matter what I will always go for the jugular when it comes to my writing . . .  I'm not afraid to talk about risky subjects, or create controversial characters.   If you put restraints on the creative process then you might as well shackle your self to the ground and conform to the majority.  I'd rather be free to express myself, and hopefully when I do, my readers will respect me for it and support it.

WHAT'S FOR DINNER:   Steak, Asparagus and Baked Potato

SONG OF THE DAY:

I Believe - Blessid Union Of Souls

 

Imaginary Friends ( A day late)

I speak to the walls.  There are people there I swear to you.  They range from sadistic vampires in search of their own identities, to Camille a spoiled brat with some serious issues.  Do you think I'm crazy yet?  What if I told you that currently I have over 100 friends that I converse with everyday, but only a select few people other than me can see them?   Do you have a straight jacket ready for me?  Rationalizing my sanity is futile, signing me up with a psychiatrist for weekly sessions until my brain is so shrinked it feels dissected into a jumbled mess of goo, will not work.   Why is this you ask?  It's because I am a writer. 

The reality is, in order to be a good writer you have to be willing to accept some mental  hiccups.  You could come down with a small case of Dissociative identity disorder ,where you are suddenly split into different personalities that change as your mood changes. Maybe occasionally you feel a little under the weather with schizophrenia, To the point that you are speaking in tongues, and talking gibberish.   Dementia can consume your brain until you're only focusing on the task at hand  . . . playing with your imaginary friends, in their imaginary world, that you were responsible for creating.  It can be a little overwhelming at times, but over time you get use to the voices that speak to you. They become your security blanket, as long as they are speaking to you, you know you haven't lost your creative touch and can continue creating stories for other people.

As you build your story from scratch, your characters develop a relationship with you.   You have conversations with them, you interact with them to the point that even when you go to bed at night they are still talking to you.   The voices in my head can be scary, if that is what they want to be, they can also be hyperactive and attacking me until I give them the attention they deserve.   The voices in my head tell me to do things . . .  so I do them, my fingers fly until the voice in my head is a distant memory completely typed out and ready to be edited.

Yes I have imaginary friends . . .  But at least once I am done, and my story is finished, my imaginary friends will become your friends too.   MAN YOU'RE SCREWED!



WHAT'S FOR DINNER:    Golden Corral (Yesterday, since this should have been yesterday's post)


SONG OF THE DAY:

Unwell - Matchbox Twenty

Hunger Games takes a bite out of Twilight and leaves me starving for more!

Okay so I told a couple of my friends that I already had my H-blog planned.  I wanted to compare The Hunger Games to Twilight.   The responses I received ranged from--there is no way to compare them because they are both totally different; but I'm interested in seeing what you come up with. To huh,  that would be interesting.   So I am just going to compare the first books in each series.  (I'm only half way through book 2 on the Hunger Games anyways)

Because I don't read very often, I base the stories I do pick up to read, on what I hear from other people. Take Twilight for example . . .  I heard from numerous people that it was the best book they have ever read.  That the story was amazing and they couldn't put it down.  I decided to see the movie first I was going to decide then, if I wanted to read the books.   So I sat in the theater, popcorn and soda in hand, and watched the movie.   I loved it!  I thought the visual effects were great when Edward saved Bella from the crashing car, I also liked when the big fight scene between James and the Cullen family happens at the end.  Although, I did not like how the Vampires sparkled, and how completely useless Bella is portrayed in the movie, or Edward's needy constipation-like face.  Regardless,  I immediately ran and bought the box set of the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer to see what happens next.  

I was hit with overwhelming disappointment.  I found Stephanie Meyer's writing style to be juvenile, (yes I know it is a young adult book)  but her story lacked the description I felt it really deserved.  When I read I want to be immersed in the world the Author creates, I want to be able to feel the rain, or see the destruction, Twilight was just . . . well . . . blah to me.  It took me almost a month to read the book, not because I was busy but because of my boredom and lack of interest.  The very first page should be an indication of how good a book will be, and Twilight's first page was as boring as the white eyelet shirt Bella wore.

I had a major hesitation to read the Hunger Games.  I was afraid, of another Twilight repeat.   (Loving the movies but hating the books. Well more like a low loathing which left me not finishing the book series at all.)
It was when I heard from one of my best friends, (whose opinion on books/movies I really respect) and my husband, (who I never pictured in a million years reading the Hunger Games) both told me about how excellent the books were.  So instead of trumping to the theater this time, I was determined to read the book first.

I tore open my copy of the Hunger Games and read . . . It was amazing.   The first page grips you, even if the first half of the books is a little slow it still made me want to keep reading.   Suzanne Collins descriptions were vivid, I felt like I was in District 12, starving, covered in coal dust, and emotional over Katniss's struggle to save her sister Prim from the Hunger Games. I hit the middle of the book where she is thrust into the Arena and I couldn't put it down--literally!   I sat on my couch reading until I finished the whole book.  It was instant book chemistry with me and the Hunger Games, it also has to be one of my all time favorite reads ever!

Why do I prefer Hunger Games to Twilight, (besides the obvious superior writing talent Suzanne Collins has to Stephanie Meyer)  I identified with the lead female character more in the Hunger Games.   I hated how weak Bella was, she had to constantly be saved by Edward or Jacob.  She was also whiny and annoying.  Whereas Katniss is strong and talented.  Not only did she support her family from the age of 12 on, she also survived a  battle  to the death while dragging along her supposed love interest Peeta with her. 

The male leads in Hunger Games were also more endearing.   Peeta and Gale are both protective of Katniss, but in very different ways.   Not to say Edward and Jacob weren't protective over Bella, they were,  But Edward I found to be complicated, a little on the feminine side, constipated throughout most of the book and most of all weak.   Jacob was just plain whiny and overall a big baby.   In my opinion neither one proved to be a admiring love interest.  I sure wouldn't have chosen them.

Overall I felt that the Hunger Games was by far superior to Twilight.  From beginning to end, it left me wanting more and engrossed me in the story.   I felt Katniss's pain, heartache and sorrow.  I didn't resent her, or hate her . . . I wanted to be as strong as her.  

So there you go, I guess I am too tired to do a more in depth comparison of the two books but there is a snippet of how I feel. 

Thanks for Reading!

WHAT'S FOR DINNER:  Homemade Ranch hamburgers, Green bean fries, and regular fries (for the kiddos)


SONG OF THE DAY:

Hungry Like a Wolf - Duran Duran

Groping the Keyboard

Gee, it was hard for me to think of a G!

My theme for my blog has been about writing . . . the process  . . .  all my thoughts and feelings that go into every word I type on my computer. I've made it about my novels or shared with you my favorite books. So you would think it would be easy to find a great topic for today, But for some reason G was very difficult.  The only things I could think of writing about were Grapes, Graduation, and Gross Income.... weird. 

So then I started thinking of other G words and groping came immediately to mind.  It was then I realized that I have developed a very intimate relationship with my laptop.   (Don't worry not in a sicko way)  But if you think about it, as a writer you spend most of your time engrossed in your own little world.  You spend your time typing or hand writing your story from the very beginning, till the very end, and most of your time, ( If you write your stories on a computer like me) is spent groping your keyboard.

In my case my laptop has become my outlet.   Whether it's writing my novel, or communicating with friends that are too far away. It has helped me express myself.  It knows my deepest thoughts and feelings, and even keeps some secrets for me.   I've spent more hours on my keyboard caressing the keys, than I probably have with anything else in my house.  My fellow writers should know exactly what I'm talking about!   So as weird as it sounds I guess I am extremely guilty of groping my keyboard. 

When it breaks, or has  a virus I get anxious, I need it fixed immediately!  Without it I feel lost.   If my kids decide to play with it, I get mad.   Possessive even.   I hate when anyone but me touches it.  I'm suddenly getting the urge to back into a corner, hunch over my laptop and shake as I say "My precious . . ."  in a growling, hushed whisper.

Well there you have it.... my little secret..... I grope my keyboard.   How about you?  Are you as guilty of groping the keyboard as I am?



WHAT'S FOR DINNER:     Hot Dogs and Mac n Cheese



SONG OF DAY: 

My little Secret - XSCAPE

F is for Free Write

Here is a short story I came up with for today since my f-word is Free Write . . .   I call it Dry Mouth Hope you enjoy it!

Dry Mouth - By Vanessa Kelly

I wondered how much longer I could hold on.  It had been days since the last time my tongue had tasted anything but the grains of sand that blew around me. My mouth wasn’t even producing saliva anymore, leaving my lips cracked like the jagged edges of rock I could see off in the distance.  If only I could get to them, maybe then, I would be okay.   But it was my will to go on that was fading, just like my memories of all those I loved back home.    

I hated him for taking me.   No one was going to know where I was now. At least back home I had some hope—but here the only thing I felt was hopelessness, and sand, it etched into the palms of my hands embedding a tiny army of pain each time I attempted another crawl forward. 

He told me on my fourth day I would die.  But it was day five and I was still hanging on--barely.  My skin had seared underneath the beating sun. Each time I inched forward it cringed and tried to hold me back whipping me like a disobedient slave who is forced to keep working.   The pain was subsiding, maybe because I had become numb, but I knew that my end was probably near, that my time had come.  

I pictured my mother waiting at home for my return.  She would be pacing around the living room for any word of my safety as she chewed away her pink polish and filed her nails until the only thing left were tiny nubs. It had only taken him a few seconds to grab me, one minute I was walking on the sidewalk the next I was lifted into a menacing black van, speeding away from everything I knew and loved.  I remember being too frightened to scream, or maybe I couldn’t because his massive hands were covering my lips.  They weren’t chapped then.   

I asked him why he took me . . .  his reply was simple, yet terrifying, my hair was just too dark.  Weakly I felt the top of my head it was short and pierced my hand like a spike. He had cut away my femininity leaving it in giant, curly, clumps that cluttered his contemporary bathroom floor.  Once he was satisfied, he discarded me like a piece of garbage; throwing me into the middle of my sandy prison, laughing as he quickly drove away from the scene.   In four days I would die he said  . . .  but he had no idea how badly I wanted to live.

By the end of day five I was exhausted.  The rocks seemed so close now, maybe just a few feet more and I would reach them. I inched forward the best I could, but my life was drying up just as fast as the saliva in my mouth.  Forward I crawled, slowly making my way across the cooling sand. It soothed me, my sunburns were severe enough to keep me warm making those last moments of living easier.   Another inch, one more crawl, and then nothing my body had given out. I laid there defeated my will was gone and all I had left were the memories of my loved ones and a handful of Asphalt.  It was then I saw them a pair of dual white lights barreling towards me. Was it a mirage; was I delirious and seeing things?  With my last few units of strength I held up my arm, I had to give it at least one more try . . .  The last thing I remember was a high pitched squeal and then silence.   Freedom had come.   

WHAT'S FOR DINNER:   Frozen Pizza

KID QUOTE OF THE DAY:

My daughter:  Daddy listen do you know who this?

My husband:  Yeah it's Miss Adele

My daughter:   Daddy it's just Adele,  She's a singer not a teacher

SONG OF THE DAY:

Tom Petty - Free Falling

Ending it all . . .

The systematic structure of a story is simple . . .  there is a Beginning, a Middle, and the End.

In my mind the best way to start a story is to just write it.   Outlining helps me out a little bit, but overall once the words have attached to the paper the rest follows.  Or it should.  

My current story started from scratch.   November first to be exact because of the Nanowrimo challenge.   My fingers flew as I typed and  constructed my first couple chapters. I knew who my characters were, I knew where I wanted to take them, and I knew what the outcome would be for them in the end.   Then came the problem . . . after the month of Nanowrimo excitement ended it was hard for me to keep going.   Sometimes a couple chapters would develop within a couple days, other days I struggled to get even a few words added to my book.  On those days I felt defeated a giant wall of BLOCKAGE stood in front of me, keeping me from going on.   At that point I didn't know what to do.  I knew who my characters were, I had developed their persona's and breathed life into the blank shell of body they start out with. I turned them into someone the reader could identify with.   But after that I couldn't grasp the words that would eventually lead up to their ending.  The ending was like a movie, it's images projecting over and over in my mind.  I could see the ending, but leading up to it was just not going to happen. . .

It was then I realized I had to break my pattern and jump.  I dropped the middle of my story and went straight into the ending.   It came easily, I knew what I wanted my main character to go through.   The struggles she was going to face. I knew exactly what I wanted to happen to her.  Within a few days my ending was done!  My character had reached their climax and their story had ended!   Only one problem with that though, the giant gap from Chapter 19 - to whatever chapter the ending turns out to be.  Frustrated I stare at my story now the only life a blinking cursor which seems to taunt me. 

Blink .. .  write more . . .  Blink  . . . haha I win . . . Blink . . . I got nothing.

There are only a few more scenes to tie up my story, so technically is my middle really my ending?   And why is it those last few chapter that are the hardest to write?   The Middle has always been my nemesis.   Ending is not the hard part for me, it is and will always be the Middle.   Those climatic strings that weave your story together.  Without it what do you have?  A broken loom of mismatched words and characters full of holes. 

What is the hardest for you to write?  The Beginning, the Middle, Or the End?
Thanks for Reading!

WHAT'S FOR DINNER:   Pork chops of some sort

KID QUOTE OF THE DAY:  

My son:  Mommy make me a waffle
My husband:  What do you say if you want Mommy to make you a waffle?
My son:  Make me a waffle please.
Me:  Give me the puppy eyes and I'll make you a waffle.
My son looks at me, looks down in his arms and hands me the stuffed puppy in his hand and walks away.  The puppy's eyes staring up at me for approval.
LOL he definitely got his waffle after that one.


SONG OF THE DAY:

Linkin Park - In the End

Distraction Decides to Detour Direction

Distracting me from writing is very easy.

Give me a television, a new video game,  (Yes mom's play video games too!)  A three year old screaming over a dropped cookie, or a mess so big it's just too bothersome to ignore and my writing goes through the window.

If you think about it a lot of D words are used to focus your attention in a different way.  Distraction, Detour, Derail, Direction, Disguise . . .  I am sure there are many more but I cannot think of any off the top of my head.  Maybe it is the letter D that is my nemesis . . .  it's sole purpose to misdirect my creative process and turn my mind into a pile of mushy goo that is incapable of producing a finished novel. 

So here are my current Distractions . . .

1.)  My family -  Two Children who need my undivided attention 24-7.   A husband who just returned from over seas. And pets . . .  All of the above drive me completely crazy sometimes!

2.)  The Legend of Zelda - Skyward Sword.  
This game has me enthralled  I cannot help but play it almost every day . . .  I want to beat it . . .   I have to beat it!

3.)  Facebook -  Self explanatory.  Half of the world is distracted by Facebook and other Internet Media outlets such as Twitter. (Which I still don't get . . . I mean come on, who needs an up to date every minute account of a person's life.)

4.)  The Hunger Games - It is a very hard book to put down . . .

5.)  Writer's Block-   As the end nears . . .  the words are getting harder to bring out of me.

So there are my Distractions.  What are yours?

WHAT IS FOR DINNER:  LEFTOVERS

SONG OF THE DAY:  

Run Around by Blues Traveler

Challenging the Inner Winner

So it started with a challenge.   One month of writing non-stop for 30 days in order to achieve the ultimate goal a 50,000 word novel in a month!   Sounds challenging right?  But I did it!

The Month of November  I sat at my computer for hours building my characters up from their toes to their head and bringing them to life.   (IT'S ALIVE . . . ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE)  My wrists ached, my fingers numb from the constant clicking . . .  and by the end of the month I had a 55,919 work in progress written and the badge to the right proving the glory that is finishing the Nanowrimo Challenge before the 30th.  Now, as April looms over me, my work has developed into a 84,000+ word count with only a few chapters left to write!

Accepting the challenge was hard . . .  committing to the challenge was even harder with my two children and no one around to give the space needed to write at a continuous pace, keeping focused was all but exhausting.  Actually finishing the challenge before the date was done . . .  PRICELESS!

So what now????

Finish the novel . . .
Hit the pavement looking for nibbles and try to get published.   (Awhhh imagine what it would be like to see your work on a Barnes and Noble bookshelf or in Amazon's Best Seller list)
Start the sequels .  . .   Yup that's right my novel is going to be a four part series!

So what other challenges are in my future????

Well I wrote a story and submitted it to the WOW writing contest.  The first time I entered I made it through to the second round but didn't place.  This time I submitted a different story that I fell in love with but have not heard anything so I wonder if it was too racy for the contest.   Even Open Prompts have their limits. Crosses fingers that this one will place . . . since they are still judging.

And of course my final challenge blog the Alphabet ...  Chronologically of course!   3 days down!  ABC!

WHAT'S FOR DINNER:    Turkey Chili and Cornbread!

KID QUOTE OF THE DAY:

Uggh  you never listen to me mommy!  (Imagine a three-year old telling you this!)


SONG OF THE DAY:

Hoobastank - Crawling in the Dark

Will I ever see the ending to my story?????

 

Believing in Yourself

Believe in yourself . . . . .

Sounds simple right?  But if you don't believe in your work,  if you don't believe in yourself, then who will believe in you?  Potential publishers and agents would take one look at you and turn the other way.  If you lack the self confidence to back your work with a steel plated backbone, then you are surely to crumble under the weight and pressure of the stressful writing world.   Rejection is going to be awaiting behind almost every door that you reach to open. It will smack you hard, leaving you stunned and disoriented.   But it's okay, because you have to remember when one door slams another one will open. 

Here I am preaching about believing in yourself, when it's one quality I lack. 

I think its this common fear of rejection that mainly keeps me from continuing my pursuit of becoming a published author.  I mean, what if I got a letter saying "Don't quit your day job! or  You're about as talented as a toeless cat trying to claw its image into the back of a couch!"    Yes it is silly . . .  but that is what goes through my head.

So how does one begin the stage of believing in themselves?

First you need to ooze confidence.  Become that festering blister in a publisher's foot, sell them your work, let them know that your story needs to be heard!  Eventually that blister will get the attention it deserves.  (Gross comparison I know, but that's just how my mind works!)

Second you need to believe in your work.

If you're looking at that final draft and say to yourself.  "This sucks, no one will publish this . . ."  Then it probably will not get published.   You're writing should make you feel like you're holding your first child.  The hours of sweat and tears you gave just to push out those words  you carried inside of you for months; leave you overflowing with a numbness and a undying love, that you will hold dear to you forever. 

I am not an avid reader.  (GASP!) But It's true.  I would rather immerse myself in the psychosis of my warped mind, giving a voice to the movies that play throughout my brain; then sit on my bed and imagine the worlds created by others.  (Although the Hunger Games does have me pretty enthralled right now.) But as i flip through the pages of my work in progress I can't help but feel excited!  I really feel like it has the potential to go all the way.   As I write more chapters and edge to the closing of my story my confidence builds . . . my shoulders getting stronger and are ready for the rejection letters that are sure to come . . . and hopefully awaiting that one word you want to hear . . . Yes.

Believing in yourself . . . 

So easy and yet so hard at the same time. For now I think the best bet is to take baby steps.  Start with buying a stamp . . . Stick it to the outside of that ivory envelope and include that Query letter that will blow their minds.  Then all have to do is wait and hold your breath.

 Writing is a roller coaster, you will feel bumps . . . you may get a bruise or two but overall it's one hell of a ride when you get to the end.


WHAT'S FOR DINNER:    Subway EAT FRESH!

KID QUOTE OF THE DAY:  

" I'm the first Snuggle Buggle!"


SONG OF THE DAY:    Two Today

Poison - Something To Believe In

Hilary Duff-  Someones Watching Over Me

The April Fool

The Day of Fools. . .   A day where Jokesters pull pranks, lies become common punch lines for one-sided jokes.   And a day where it is okay to embrace laughter in the expense of others.   

It is also the day I was born. 

So here I am 30 years after being brought into this world, forever branded The April Fool.

It's probably the hardest day to have a birthday besides maybe being born on Leap Year. (Imagine only being 12 when you're 30.  That would be rough!)

The truth is ever since I was born I was the butt of my parents own inside Joke.  Three jokes to be exact.     It started with their Honeymoon, they trekked across the country in my dad's blue van to New York where my dad grew up.   My dad took my mom on the Maiden Voyage, and the curse was born.  Ye who dares to take the Maiden Voyage on their Honeymoon will be pregnant within a year.   (No one told my parents it would be that night!)

Joke Number One:   I will forever be known as the 'Mail Man's Kid'   The reason behind this is simple.   My Father was not supposed to have kids . . . they go on this Voyage and BAM!!!!  I was conceived that NIGHT!   Because of my Father's supposed inability to have children he jokes about me being the Mail Man's Kid.   (Of course I was blessed with his creative Artistic ability, and certain other features which in no doubt places me as his one and only child. LOVE YOU DAD!!!

Nine months later Jokes Two and Three come forth.   The pregnancy was breezy,  mom took it like a champ.  Then in the middle of a freak Nevada Blizzard at the end of March my mom starts getting the pains of labor.   My dad and grandparents cart her off to the hospital where a nurse insists that my mother is not in labor, and sends her back out into the cold.    It took almost hour to get home, the weather incredibly bad, and impossible to drive in.   The pains never left and she forced my grandparents and dad to take her back to the hospital, where she finds out she truly is in labor.  Man did that nurse get an earful..

Joke Number Two:  Ha ha April Fools you really are having the baby.  At 12:51 April First I was born, my father pacing the hallway with a pocket full of candy bars and nerves enough to rattle Seattle. Both of them beaming over their beautifully bald baby girl.

The final Joke is on me I guess. . . .    My name.

According to my mother they had a very specific reason to finally settle on my name.   I was either going to be Veronica or Vanessa...   Both of my parents names start with a V  so therefore of course I would have to be named with a V as well.

Joke Number Three:  And here she is  VANessa . . . That's right folks my mother named me VANessa because supposedly that crazy honeymoon night I was conceived in my fathers VAN.
(Can we say tooooooooooooooooooooo much Information?????)  :D


So as if on cue, my birthday has always been a series of happenstances and jokes.   From Conception to the day I was born . . .  The inside joke has always been me.   ( A pretty great Joke if you ask me)

Do people believe me when I say today is my birthday?   NO!!!

Once I had to bust out my birth certificate just to prove to a girl in my class before going on a class trip to Mexico that my birthday was really on April First. 

Do I love to play practical jokes and prank people on my birthday?  NO!!! 

Actually I'm usually the one getting pranked.  My 21rst birthday my whole family gave me Rocks.  I got other presents too but most of my presents that year were ROCKS!!!  

So no matter what people think about those who are born on April Fools Day, Not all of us are tricksters and Liars. I maybe the butt of a inside joke but that's just me . . .  my parents child.  

The April Fool.  

Happy Birthday to me and all my other April Fools Babies out there! 

Thanks for reading.


WHAT'S FOR DINNER: My husband made me Steak and Corn on the cob!  It was AMAZING!

KID QUOTE OF THE DAY:   Mommy you hurt my life!  (At least I just hurt his life, he told my husband after getting back from Afghanistan that he Broke his life.  I'll take hurting over Breaking any day :D)

SONG OF THE DAY:    

Bruno Mars -  The Lazy Song

Another Challenge Begins . . . The Year of Abandoment a Distant Memory.

So I tried to be a good blogger and then it happened . . .


The cold smack of reality and laziness hit me and my blog was emptied for over a year!!
How dare she do this to me!  Why did she leave so abruptly?

The truth is Life happened. 

You would think being a military wife and stay at home mother would leave a plethora of time to sit at my computer and write a blog,  but in fact it didn't.   I became obsessed, completely scrapped my old novel and wrote a new one.   (Well almost finished I should say) It started because of Nanowrimo.   A couple friends of mine told me about the challenge and I dared to accept it!   And guess what I achieved it and then some.   50,000 plus words were written within two weeks, and by the end of the month 60k or more was written on a novel that is nearly finished!

Its exciting and exhilarating all at the same time.  I wrote as much as I could, and now that I am only a few chapters from completing it I wimped out on writing once again!   A labor of love they call it.    But alas it is not the novels fault that I strayed from my blog.  Life reared its ugly head, and the big Monster of depression over took me, I couldn't focus on my book or a blog.  The fear of losing the one I love while he fought over seas became too much and the only thing I could wrap my creative mind around was stupid Facebook games.   DAMN YOU PIONEER TRAIL!!!! 

So here I am almost a year later ready to try my hand at blogging once again.  (UPDATE:  The husband is back and safe.  He did have some scares while he was over there.  A couple of close calls that were too close for my own taste. Probably the reason I was such a stress case for awhile!)

What brought me back . . .

The A-Z Blogging challenge
http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/p/what-is-blogging-from-to-z.html'

So there you go . . .  I'm back for another go and hopefully this time I can stick to it! Expect an Alphabetical Collaboration for the month of April and hopefully during this time I can grab some more followers and make some new friends.   Good night all and happy Writing!

What's For Dinner:   It was my husbands birthday so we went out to eat!  Yummy Burgers at a local restaurant.

Kid Quote of the Day:

My son:  Mommy I have a questionion  (and yes it is misspelled for interpretation on how my son says the word question)

Me: Ok what is your question?

My son:   I love you that is the question

Me:  That is more of a statement than a question

My son:   So what is a question?

Me:  EXACTLY!


Song of the Day:

Cher: You Haven't Seen the Last of Me 

Murky waters of the sleep deprived slacker

You fade into nothingness as you slither between the sheets and try to clench your eyes shut to submerge yourself within your dreams. You toss and turn due to the unfortunate loss of AC in your overly warm home, wondering if the billowing breeze from beneath the curtains, and the roar of a blowing fan is enough to cool your skin.  Both your children slink into your room within forty minutes of each other to tell you they can't sleep or they are out of water.  It is a sad fact that despite the responsibilities that are put upon me I choose to hide within the shadows of my sadness, and ache for the one who is missing from my side. Unfortunate as it is,This is me right now ... It is not a dream, but more of a messed up reality where im sleep deprived and lonely.

My soldier is gone, training for the battle he has yet to fight as he follows his duty as our nation's hero and fights in a war that is not really ours.  I wish him to come home to us again, staring at the stars that peek out at night wondering if he is looking at them too.  I have yet to see a shooting star so my wishes for his safety weigh heavily on my heart as I wonder if it is okay to pray when you really aren't seeking for Faith.  I want to hold him again, I miss his kisses the strong stench of man that sleeps next to me as I close my eyes to dream at night.  It is for him my heart aches and feels empty, just like the space of bed that is next to me.

Many before me have triumphed. As have I.  Waiting for the long stretch of time to quickly pass as you lie in wait for your loved one to come back to you.  Curse the people who question the strength it takes to stay behind the lines and run the home front.  Yes they fight in a war... but we are fighting too.  Our sanity, our faith, our spirit, our love; all broken for the time being as we wait for our soldiers to return.  My soldier has left me at home to fend for our family . . . I take it with honor and try as hard as I can to keep myself intact.  Love is complicated and Bold it keeps me going knowing that even though he is oceans away that our Love still holds hands and sings the song of our six year ongoing triumph.  He may be my rock, my best friend but I am also his and as long as I the MILITARY WIFE stays strong, I know he will stay strong too walking through the door to see me once again and embrace me in that warmth I so surely miss.

Come back to me Strong my soldier.
Come back to me Safe my soldier.
Come back. . . . .

Kid Quote of the day: None today

Song of the day
Firehouse _ Love of a Lifetime (OUR SONG)

Whats for dinner:  Leftovers

Absenteeism in it's finest!

I apologize for abandoning my readers last month.  Between my computer breaking down on me, and having to say my goodbyes as my husband boarded another bus headed for the great sandbox in attempt to fight for our country my heart just wasn't in it.  If that wasn't enough to cause my heart pain, my life outside the bricked walls of my house have effected me in such a way that its been hard to focus on any aspect of my life let alone the blog I use as my outlet to the world.

I find that writing poetry is almost like a drug to me.  In order to escape the emotions that plague my insides and cause me to be miserable and sad, even angry, I can just pick up a pen and pad of paper (Computer) and leak out the emotions on to the paper (type) and express my feelings before I overdose on the emotion.  So with that in mind and the over abundance of icky drama swirling around me lately I picked up my laptop and and wrote a poem.  The goosebumps prickling my skin as I sliced my flesh and oozed the writing vein of emotion all over the screen.  (Not literally) But as the famous quote by ~Walter Wellesley "Red" Smith says There's nothing to writing.  All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein.  


I opened my own vein and afterward I felt rejuvenated, peaceful even. I no longer felt the burden in my chest that the pain was causing me and I realized I had just released heartfelt, pure, raw emotion and it erupted into a poem I can't help but be proud of.  Now I would like to share it with my readers.

Disappointment 
By Vanessa Kelly


The end is near,
Sanity driven thoughts fading in the distance.
As I lay in wait for the answers that never come.

Why are those with kind hearts walked upon?
Trampled like the dying grass on a cold autumn day?

I pored my heart on the platter,
awaiting to be accepted and gobbled up.
Only to be met with dry mouths and broken dreams.

Is this how it feels to be murdered,
pulling the knife from between my shoulder blades,
only to feel the burning sensation as it sears the flesh on my wrists.

I feel lost,
alone in the darkness without a flashlight. 
Searching for the acceptance I long for.

Why are you saying goodbye?
Running for the nearest exit as I grab the invisible strings attempting to pull you back.
I finally connected to another soul,
only to once again meet Disappointment face to face.
Hello old friend,
Hello my enemy,
Again we fight for my happiness,
Again you win blindsiding me with drama.

Is friendship so meaningless that its this easy to take away?
Only to be met with a backside to my face as you walk out the door.
I thought it would be different this time,
The connection flowing like the sands in and hourglass.
as it sinks to the pits of my souls and turns over to once again to repeat the process.
A hour glass now cracked and spilling the emotional pieces of sand that tear from my eyes.

Fate has broken down the door and given me the pleasure of knowing you,
Hell in human form dictating you to turn away from me and not look back.
A broken record continues to serenade the song of sorrow that plays in my heart
as I await Disappointment's re-occurrence in my life.
Hello old friend we meet again . . .
How are you?
Disappointed as usual . . .
Who are these?
Oh this is hope, and this optimism;
their swords outstretched and ready to bring on the attack.

I haven't given up this time,
And though my heart aches for that broken friendship,
a band-aid waits in the distance ready to cover the gap hell in human form has caused between us.
Time awaiting the day when all the drama will subside,
and once again happiness fills my empty soul,
My dark dreams grizzled and singed,
opening to the light and gay butterflies that dance in the fields.
Who has the last laugh now Disappointment.
It is I alone but strong, optimistic and crazy.
But true in the midst of everything.
your friend forever.

So there you have it my soul bared and for you to read . . .take it as you will but whether or not you accept the poetry for what it is.  It's real . . . It's raw . . . It's me.   Thanks for Reading and I promise to write more soon.

What's For Dinner Tonight:  SUBWAY EAT FRESH

Kid Quote of the Day:  My Daughter:   That's my little brother Logan.
                                                           Clerk at store Smiles
                                                           My Daughter: We call him Captain Destructo
                                                           Clerk: Captain Destructo?
                                                           Me:  Well he is!

Song of the Day:  Trapt- These Walls